A little encounter with big courage

As a singer there will always be a certain level of courage necessary to perform. Musical theatre is one of the best outlets for someone learning to fine-tune their musical skills, but most importantly, develop the ability to handle fear. One of the most frightening aspects of performing is self-doubt. With each new song and dance there's an ever present, hollow feeling deep in their stomach that torments them with questions like "Can I really hit THAT note, or hold THAT part?" 

My favorite encounter with courage was not the courage of my own but that of a timid young actress, Caroline. Caroline and I attended the same camp last summer, "Camp Stanley for the Performing Arts." Camp Stanley is a unique experience because the campers write their own show to be performed at the end of a two-week period. My job as part of the playwriting process was to write songs that matched the script, so I was thrilled when they told me to write a duet for Caroline and I to perform. 

Caroline, who was thirteen years old, had a booming personality. She would walk into a room wearing her ankle-high Chuck Taylors with bright red laces and a bouncing ponytail on top of her head. Her confidence would light up a space as if she gave off rays of energy and seemed limitless, until it came to singing.  She could carry a tune effortlessly but in practice she'd get so nervous that a phrase like "so come on listen to the music," became "come on so listen to my music." Fumbling the words under normal circumstances would've been all right, however this was a duet and we knew singing the same line with different lyrics would not go over well with the audience. 

As the two weeks at camp progressed and the show date got grew near, Caroline's demeanor changed. Her confidence shriveled like a flower deprived of water, before my eyes. Not only was she faced with the challenge of memorizing the lyrics, but also the director wanted us to add harmonies. Harmonies? Not an easy feat for a young singer. I knew that she was afraid. We ran the song over and over again every day, but she'd struggle through and plummet further into her fear with each rehearsal.

Finally the day of the show came. As we stood backstage, I gave her a hug and reassured her saying things like "I know you can do this, you’re an amazing singer." Meanwhile I thought, "Here goes nothing." To my disbelief it went well. Actually, it went better then well, she was spectacular. Caroline remembered her words, held her harmony, and sang with enunciation, but above all she was brave.

 The song I wrote for us was about my character teaching her's how to sing but in reality she taught me a lesson.  The courage that drove her to step on stage and overcome the fear that was holding her performance back, will be in the back of my mind every time I go to perform.