Take the Perspective of a Non-Human Thing.

I'm a football. It's a tough life but the glory is worth it. People think its wonderful being a football player but the real fame is in the ball. Every game, all eyes on me. The most difficult part of my job is the constant inhalation. I need to be inflated if I want to play so all I do is breath in, in, in, and never out. My breathing becomes particularly strenuous when the players pile on top of me during a tackle. I've lost count of the amount of times I've had the wind knocked out of me. Another struggle is the motion sickness. The rush of soaring through the sky is spectacular, but the constant spirals would make any ball's head spin. It may be a difficult life but theres nothing like being the center of attention, because whats football without the football?